2/27/12

Happy Birthday Aunt Judy

This past weekend, we went to visit my Aunt Judy in Wichita.  She just turned 79.  This last Fall, she was diagnosed with uterine cancer.  She was to go a complete hysterectomy at the end of December.  When they did the surgery, the doctors realized that the cancer had spread all over her abdomen and into her colon.  When she found out the results of the surgery, she decided not to do any treatment.  She instead went to a skilled nursing facility in hospice care.  My aunt is truly amazing.  At the time of the surgery, she was only given 4-6 weeks to live.  Well, she's surpassed that for a reason I think.  She's had a tremendous impact on the nurses that care for her.  As a nurse, I feel like I'm supposed to be the one that has an impact on my patients.  The nurses sometimes "fight" to take care of her because she is such a joy to be around.  She is definitely letting the light of God shine through her even in the midst of such pain.  Aunt Judy got to meet Little Bear just days before her surgery.  She lit up and loved holding him.  I thought that would be the last time we'd ever see her.  I certainly didn't think she would make it to her birthday.  So, when my mom told me about the party they had planned for her, I knew we should go.  My mom didn't tell my aunt we were coming.  It was a total surprise!!  When we walked into the room, my aunt just lit up.  I walked over to her and gave her a hug.  She said thanks, but all she wanted was to hold Little Bear.  We spent several hours with her. She is truly an amazing woman.  God has gifted her.  Despite the fact that it was a very long and exhausting day and Little Bear didn't get much rest, the trip was worth it.  God bless you Aunt Judy.
Great Aunt Judy & Little Bear

Grandpa & Little Bear



2/23/12

OPERATION NAP

So, I had a huge meltdown on Monday.  In my last post I mentioned the napping issue.  Well, it really hit me hard Monday.  The thought of letting Little Bear "cry it out" was just horrid to me.  After consulting some close and trusted friends, I came up with a plan.  The day was just awful.  Tuesday, I woke up with a totally different attitude.  I actually put make-up on, which does wonders for my mindset.  I instituted the plan with Micah's first feeding of the day.  Since I had Bible study at 9 on Tuesday, I put Micah in the carseat around 8:30 and headed out the door.  He was asleep quickly and stayed asleep till his next feeding at 10.  Then he went back in the carseat shortly after 11 and we left the church.  I had a few errands to run which he slept through.  Then I decided to meet Mark for lunch while Micah was still sleeping.  Micah didn't wake up till his next feed at 1.  Then around 2 we went for a walk.  When we got back home, I got him out of the carseat, carried him on his tummy and laid him in the crib - yes, on his tummy.  He stayed asleep for an hour and 45 minutes.  Yea!!!  He ate at 4 and then we played for a while.  I could see his sleepy signals coming on.  I snuggled him a bit and then laid him down.  He cried for less than 10 minutes and was asleep.  While it was just one day, it was a huge success for me.  It has given me the courage to keep at it.  Now, this week has been a bit busy with something every morning.  So, several naps have either started in his carseat or been entirely in his carseat.  However, he is starting to learn to sleep in his crib.  This is a huge relief for me!  It's given me some much needed "me time."  We still have a ways to go before I feel like Little Bear has the "napping in his crib" down pat.  Being the ICU nurse that I am, I love how we've gotten a routine down to the day.  It's helped calm my spirit, given me a boost of confidence as a new mother, and allowed me to do some things around the house that are hard to do while wearing Micah in a sling.  It's also given me the reassurance that while I'm at work, Micah will be able to nap for those who care for him.

I also wanted to give an update on the bottle feeding issue.  Micah has taken the bottle from me, but fussed.  For Mark, he has usually spit everything out.  Well, last night while I was upstairs having some "me time," Mark left Micah in the bouncy seat to feed him.  He actually took the bottle.  They moved to the couch half-way through, but Micah then refused the bottle and really fussed.  So, back in the bouncy seat he went.  He took the remainder of the bottle without ANY issues.  Yea!!  This was a huge encouragement to both Mark and I.  It was a blessing to me to see the relief and victory on Mark's face.  Hopefully it will go just as well tonight.

Little Bear is "talking" to the giraffe.  He loves sitting in the swing and playing with the rattles and giraffe

2/16/12

To Nap or Not to Nap???

As a first time mom I'm trying to figure out the right way to do things for Little Bear.  I really don't want to "mess him up."  Overall, he is a great baby.  He's not fussy unless he's hungry, tired, or bored.  Other than passing gas, he hasn't had gas issues that cause him pain.  At night he goes to bed easily since he's rather tired.  He's now sleeping an average of 5 hours straight - yea!  So, here's my dilemma:  he doesn't go down for naps very well.  The only way I've been able to get him to take a good 2 hour nap is if I'm carrying him.  Now, there are many people that say this is a great parenting technique.  However, I'm going back to work in 4 1/2 weeks and want to help CC out by getting Little Bear to nap better.

I've been rocking/bouncing him to sleep while using a pacifier.  Once he's really asleep, I lay him down in the bouncy seat or in his rock-n-sleeper that he sleeps in at night.  I've even turned on the humidifier in the room to create white noise.  However, soon after I put him down, he wakes up.  I try bouncing/rocking him, but he just doesn't want to sleep.  I pick him back up and I can get him to sleep.

I've tried putting a blanket that I've carried around with him.  I even put him in the swing with the blanket, vibration, and swing motion.  DOES NOT WORK.  Even now as I'm trying to write this post, it's taken me an hour to get him to sleep.  He eats every 3 hours.  So, if he sticks to this schedule, he'll wake up in 30-40 minutes.  Ughh!  Now he is only 10 1/2 weeks old, so I'm not sure if this is what other babies his age do or not?  Someone mentioned that since I'm a nurse, work 12 hour shifts, and am constantly moving around all day, that that is what Little Bear prefers - movement.  Makes sense to me.

I would like to be able to get stuff done without always wearing him.  I really do like holding and cuddling him though since I know this time in his life won't last forever.  I want to snuggle him as much as possible.  Anyway, I'm torn and would appreciate any suggestions anyone has to offer.  As I side note, when I go back to work, I'll only be working 2 days a week.  They are 12 hour shifts though.  So for 5 days, I get to be with my Little Bear. Should I then just wear him to nap since I'll be with him more days than I'm away from him or should I teach him to nap without me since he'll be with CC or my husband 2 days a week.  Inquiring minds want to know.
Slept 2 hours

Slept 30-45min
Slept 30-45min
Slept 30-45 min

2/13/12

Letters from Your CC - #1

Hello sweet boy!
You and your momma dropped in this past Tuesday for a little play date. Mommy was eager for me to give bottle feeding another attempt since we had been largely successful just the week prior. I was eager to snuggle you while at the same time sharing in good conversation with your mom. It had been quite a stretch of time since your last feeding (I believe 4 hours) so we settled right into providing you the bottle. We tried both the Dr. Brown's as well as the Born Free bottles to no avail. You know HOW to take the bottle, you just know WHAT & WHO you prefer your milk from. I don't blame you buddy! I'm one of your mommy's #1 fan's when it comes to her decision to breastfeed. I nursed my own kiddos - I am still nursing your sweet little playmate McKenna at 13 months of age. I can't wait for you to become quick friends, but we'll talk about that later. OK? Your Mommy & Daddy have been so diligent and patient in their attempts to acquaint you with (what will soon be necessary) bottle feedings. I am confident in time you will take to it.
I snapped this picture of you shortly after exhausting our efforts at the bottle. 
Your mommy & I agreed you had had enough.
As soon as you settled in with momma you filled your tummy right up. Little stinker! 
 I am excited for your time spent with us and I feel very blessed and honored that your parents have entrusted me with your care. I promised your parents a couple of things so you be sure hold me to it. I promised to provide LOTS of snuggles, hugs and kisses; lots of play time & interaction; lots of {mostly bad} singing; story time; did I mention hugs & kisses? You are adorable! 
Hugs from your CC

2/11/12

Micah's Grand Entrance

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has expectations that often don't get met.  I have numerous examples of how I've planned or expected things to happen a certain way only to be "disappointed."  As humans, our minds are so finite, while God is infinite.  We see only pixels, while God can view the entire picture.  I often wish I could see the big picture.  But, if I did, where would my need for faith and trusting God be?  Micah's birth story is yet another situation that I had planned out, but ended up being completely the opposite.

Despite the fact that I am a pediatric ICU nurse and push drugs all day, I have a huge fear of drugs when it comes to me and my body.  I have always had such an intense fear of epidurals because of the bad side effects I've hear of people having.  So, when I was deciding on a birth plan, I wanted to have a natural birth so I could steer clear of my fears.  How many women before me gave birth without drugs and made it through?  My mom one was of those women.  So, in an effort to make sure I had all the tools possible to achieve my desire, Mark and I enrolled in a 12 week natural birthing class.

We both learned so much and felt very empowered to achieve our wish.  The thing we appreciated about this class was that while they emphasized natural birth (without drugs or interventions), they also stated that the ultimate goal was "healthy baby, healthy mom."  That is definitely something Mark and I agreed with whole-heartedly!  Knowing that often my plans are different from God's for my life, I kept a healthy perspective on our desires.  The class also emphasized good nutrition.  I did well at getting 80-100 grams of protein per day with a well-balanced diet.

My due date was November 27, 2011.  My hope is that I would make it past Thanksgiving.  I really wanted to maintain our family tradition of shopping for our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving.  Well, we were able to do that, plus I made it to the due date.  Four days after my due date I had an appointment.  My blood pressure was way too high.  So, I was admitted to the hospital that night and the induction began.  Once the pitocin was started early the next morning(Dec. 2), things got intense.  I labored hard for 17 hours, without much progress.  My provider was concerned and stated that things might progress if I was able to really relax by getting the epidural.  I hurt so bad and was so exhausted that I agreed to the epidural.  The first one never worked, the second one caused sharp pain down one leg, but the third one finally kicked in.  I then I had a big drop in my blood pressure and got extra fluid and medicine.  24 hours after the induction, I finally got to push.  However, with one of those pushes, Little Bear didn't handle it too well.  My provider mentioned several times that she thought the baby's head was too big to fit through the birth canal.  She explained what could happen if we continued with a vaginal birth.  Mark and I both felt that the risks weren't worth it.  So we agreed to the c-section.  Little Bear was finally born on Saturday December 3 at 7:55am.  He came out screaming.  What a sweet sound it was to my ears.  It turns out his head was turned sideways in the canal.  Despite the fact that almost nothing went according to our birth plan, one thing did go right.  Mark and I got our healthy baby.  God had answered our prayers.  We truly are blessed.

Our sweet Little Bear
My first time meeting Little Bear


First family picture

What a sweet pic

2/9/12

Progress of a Pregnant Belly

I decided to take a picture every week during my pregnancy in the same outfit in the same spot.  I missed a couple weeks and a few times I had to take the picture in a different location.  Some weeks I couldn't tell much of a difference.  Other weeks it was totally obvious.  I thought it was pretty amazing to watch Little Bear grow.  I had posted a few pics on Facebook and got a ton of comments on the wine rack in the background.  What can I say? "I LOVE wine!"  Even though they say 1 glass of red wine is ok during pregnancy, I did not partake.  I was too paranoid.  Too bad it wasn't just my belly that grew.  So did other parts of my body.  Hopefully soon I'll be able to post pics of the progression back to my pre-pregnancy body.  I'll get into a groove soon of exercise and healthy eating.  I would welcome suggestions of how others lost their pregnancy weight.  People say if you breastfeed it falls off.  Well, that isn't true for me.  I'm going to have to work a little harder at it.


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2/7/12

How Papa Bear & Momma Bear Met

Mark and I on our honeymoon in the Riviera Maya

Since I'm just starting to blog, I have a lot to share from the last several years.  I figured a good place to start is how my husband and I met.  We've known each other for 6 years now - WOW!  The year before we met, I did the internet dating thing.  All I could think about, talk about, and focus on was finding a man.  Just ask my closest friends, they'll tell ya.  I finally got to a point where I was sick and tired of my "obsession" with  finding my man.  It was then that I told God that I was going to no longer pursue men. I was going to pursue God.
What do you know, but 3 weeks later I met Mark.  The nurse that trained me married the guy that was room mates with Mark in college. My trainer asked if she could set me up with her husband's friend.  I reluctantly agreed.  Mark did call me.  We both had the same thought, "Let's do lunch." That way if the date went badly, we could say we had somewhere to be.  If it went well, then we had a lot of time left in the day to hang out.
We met for lunch at Chili's on Saturday, January 14, 2006.  We had such a great time that we stayed at the restaurant for almost 5 hours.  That blind date led to many more dates, which led to an engagement, and eventually marriage on April 4, 2009.  During our dating relationship, we had a lot of ups and downs.  However, we both grew so much individually and as a couple.
I'm so very thankful for Mark.  I'm thankful that even though I complained about having to wait so long before I found the man of my dreams, he was DEFINITELY worth the wait.  I can't imagine my life without him.  And I certainly can't imagine him NOT being the father to Micah.  Thank you, Lord.  I am truly blessed!

2/6/12

Explanations of a New Blog

So I've decided to join the blogging world. You might be wondering how I came up with the title of this blog. Well, not quite a year ago, my husband and I found out that we were pregnant. We were super excited to say the least. I knew right away that I did not want to find out the gender of the baby. I love surprises!! Most people thought I was crazy. They asked me how I was going to plan. What did I need to know the gender for to plan for a baby. Since I already knew we were having a child, I wanted the anticipation/surprise of finding out who my baby is when he/she was born. The nursery ended up being gender neutral. I found the perfect wall decal and bedding set. I thought it was very fitting for this "outdoor loving family." Since we didn't want to call our baby, "It" the whole pregnancy, we wanted to come up with a nickname. Well, while Mark (my husband) and I were on vacation in California's National Parks during my first trimester, we had a major inspiration for the name. On the last day in King's Canyon National Park, we were walking through a meadow. Well, low and behold we saw an actual black bear. We were so in awe of this amazing animal that somehow we decided to call our unborn child "Little Bear." We thought the name was very fitting for us since we loved the outdoors. Since the home of bears are called dens, that's how I got the blog name idea. The other part, "Blessed," is because Mark and I are truly blessed in numerous ways. We hope to never take our blessings for granted.

Well, Little Bear arrived a week late and showed us right away he was a boy. We were so elated to meet our son. Once we decided on his official name - Micah Henry (both my &Mark's grandpas were named Henry), we kept calling him Little Bear. We now call him by his given name, but he will always be our Little Bear.

Needless to say, our lives have changed dramatically. We're still learning how to be godly parents and not totally mess up Little Bear's life. I'm very thankful that we have amazing friends that have, 'been there, done that' and can share their wisdom with me.